Miscarriage, Pregnancy, and Health

Did you know that one of the most common occurrences in women’s lives is miscarriage? It’s estimated that 1 in every 4 pregnancies is thought to end in miscarriage, but some guestimate the ratio to be as high as 1 in 3. If every miscarriage that occurred prior to a positive pregnancy test were reported, then 40-50% of all conceptions result in loss. In other words, it is a real miracle when a baby is actually born. It’s no easy feat to get born. If you are here, you were meant to be here.

Most people aren’t aware of how common miscarriage is because the statistics aren’t well publicized. In fact, miscarriage is kind of a taboo topic in our society. I wonder why? After all, miscarriage isn’t just the loss of an unborn baby. It is the loss of an imagined child, one that you or your family imagines in great detail….how he/she will look, what the child will be like, what their lives will look like…the list goes on and on. The death of that imagined child is as real as any other family death, and each woman whose grief is dismissed by family, society, or culture is likely going to have a tough time.

Statistically, most women move on to have a healthy pregnancy later….but one of the most torturous problems any woman can face is recurrent miscarriage. The losses accumulate, and the grief and self blame often bring fear of future pregnancy. Most women begin to regret past behaviors, questioning each little detail of their lifestyle. ”Did I run too far?” ”Did I eat the wrong thing?” ”Should I have stayed off of my feet more?” These thoughts can truly lead to gratuitous self loathing, guilt, and chronic despair.

It is certainly appropriate to feel grief after a miscarriage, but chronic despair can become debilitating. If this despair interferes with healthy mood, marital relationship, or willingness to become pregnant again, it is crucial to do two things:

1) Obtain medical treatment from a physician who specializes in pregnancy loss to diagnose and treat any biological problem which may contribute to miscarriage(s).

2) Finding the right mind body specialist to teach the mind-body techniques such as behavioral relaxation, restructuring of negative and fearful thoughts, social support, and willingness to cultivate the practice of self nurture. You know, filling your cup before you pour it out on everyone else?

If you have gone through miscarriage or repeated miscarriage, check out Dr. Alice Domar’s book entitled Healing Mind, Healthy Woman. She states, “when women practice mind-body medicine, they appear to have a lower than anticipated rate of repeat miscarriage. Moreover, women undergoing difficult or high-risk pregnancies have a vastly improved ability to cope with their condition.”

We are only beginning to scratch the surface of the power of the mind these days. The power of our mind to effect autonomic balance and positive health changes may be nearly unlimited, even when applied to the problem of miscarriage.

That’s all for today from this sweaty mom, folks. Summer is here, and it is SO hot here. Remember that thing about filling your cup first? It’s so important. The airlines got it right when they instructed us moms to use our oxygen mask first before helping our child….not that any of us would really do that, by the way, but it is a great metaphor for self nurture. More on that this week since I, too, need a refresher course on that topic. Ciao!